An old Volvo was stopped along side the highway where no car should be stopping adjacent to the fast lane. A 20 something year old guy with thick dark rimmed glasses and goatee was standing beside the car making a thumbs hook sign. I flashed him back, hang loose, dude, then realized that sign was more of 80's thing and he was apparently hanging loose like a phone off the hook. But why would he want me to call him, I wondered? And how would I call him if he didn't sign his phone number? I thought, probably it is some new way of advertising, not real safe but an effective promotion of the need to have a mobile phone, if only for this type of situation. Then more somberly, I said to myself, I'm a good Christian, or a least was once and probably still mostly have at least some humanitarian morality scared into me. And besides, it feels good to do good. Though if I call the auto club to get him assistance, they'll probably end up billing me and my insurance won't cover some guy I don't know. And then I'll try to find him to pay and he'll just call me a rich dick, even though I don't believe I am either, although to some extent that is what I probably would have thought of me now when I was his age. So maybe I should call the highway patrol to have them get this dangerous car and potentially more dangerous hipster off the side of the highway. He could get hit and hurt himself, damage another vehicle and cause no end of misery and guilt to some poor helpful grandmother who pulled over to help him but hit him instead hit him, weaving around the way he is, leaning into towards traffic and waving his hand unintelligibly. Besides, I am late for a meeting and if the highway patrol is dealing with him I could push the pedal down over the speed limit a bit and not be late for my meeting. Although, for highway patrol such a call is pretty low priority, maybe I should embellish the story, say to the patrol line that he has a gun, that should get even the traffic patrol cars out of my way. But then they would probably just say well he has the right, haven't I heard of the US Second Amendment? Perhaps if I said he was also of African descent, they'd be there promptly, I probably wouldn't have to say there is a gun involved. But again, being a good Christian, or at least once was with a residual morality which truly would not want to play upon racism, I could just say he looks learning disabled. Another kind of ismism I am sure, but what kind of old Volvo driving hipster with holy jeans and leather vest does not have a freaking mobile phone?
